mike - 3, boss - 2

Good evening, i'm Timmy Ticker. And i'm Lance Yardstick. yes that's right, the final score on Saturday, February 3rd, when mike decided he was going to give his boss a taste *dramatic pause with a side of gravitas* of his own medicine...

in the first play of the day, mike had just put on the last wheel on a vehicle and began to exit the shop to pull in another car. Brian, who had the home-team advantage was quick to call him out as he yelled

B: ''MIKE! did you just put on the last wheel on this vehicle?''
M: ''yes. why?''
B: ''when you put on the last wheel on anything, lower it down so that i can see that it needs a torque instead of just leaving it up in the air so i don't wonder what's going on with it.''
M: ''okay.''
M: *thinks to himself* ~well, you sure figured out pretty quick when i had the last wheel on, sherlock...~

well, that was quite a play on Brian's part. he ripped right into mike with that disrespectful barking tone of his, over something just barely important enough to mention. however, the referees have determined that it was a valid play, since it would facilitate the runnings of the shop. mike chose to remain silent on this one, and that proves to be fairly wise, since Brian did have a valid point. M - 0, B - 1

the second play of the day has brian and mike working on a set of four tires involving chrome valve caps, which Brian had placed on top of the tire mounter...

M: ''Brian! did you put these valve caps on top of the tire mounter?''
B: *turns around from balancing a tire* yes.
M: ''well, i like them to be down here *points to valve stem compartment on the tire mounter* so they don't fall off onto the floor!''
B: ''okay.''

a nice play by mike, and quite valid, since he did have to recover two of the four caps from the floor. you know, Lance, i like to call a move like this ''the echo,'' b/c it's an similar force going right back to the originator, slightly weaker but the timing here is important, less than 10 minutes after the first play, so this was all bound to be fresh in Brian's mind. M - 1, B - 1

the third play of the day featured Brian standing on top of the tire partition wall, looking over the whole shop, stacking tires.

B: *grabs the spray bottle filled with soapy water and sprays a few people*
M: *without missing a beat, pulls out the tire lube brush and slings a snot-rope of tire lube right back at Brian.*
B: *smiling/laughing conveying the idea of ''all in good fun''*
M: *mirrors Brian*

now, they have both gained a point in this play, but i like to think that mike earned a somewhat heftier point, since tire lube is a higher calliber projectile than soapy water. i'd have to agree with you on that one, Timmy. That lube is thick, like a mass of mucous, so it really sticks to its target. M - 2, B - 2

the fourth play featured Brian telling Mike to go outside and push carts with him for ten minutes while it was slow. Mike was feeling rather energised from all this competition, so he put on gloves, a traffic vest, and grabbed a rope to push carts. Brian grabbed his coat in addition to those items and headed outside. upon re-entering the tire center:

B: ''you need to wear a coat when you go outside.''
M: ''why?''
B: ''because i've seen it happen, your skin will freeze if you're out there in that cold of weather. If i see you outside again today without a coat on, i'm gonna start wondering if the tire center is really where you're supposed to be.''
M: ''but i used to be out in this stuff all the time, shorts and a tshirt and it never used to bother me before. and here i am now, pushing carts, which is harder work. i wasn't cold''
P: *Paulette, the warehouse manager walks in just in time for Brian to tell her about what Mike just did*
M: *repeats to her what he'd just said to Brian*

well, Brian was scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one. there is actually no policy in place that mandates the presence of a coat on an employee. Mike actually passed up a good opportunity for a few shots at Brian, he could have said ''well, i'm a lot younger than you are, i can handle things like this that you can't anymore'' ohh boy would that have stung! you ain't just whistlin' dixie, Lance! But he also could have told Paulette about the remark Brian just made, since it had no founding in any policy and was somewhat threatening. M - 2, B -2

the fifth and final play of the day has Andrew, a fellow tire installer, balancing a tire, when Brian yells at him for something mildly important. in response, Jesse, another installer speaks up for Andrew and says

J: ''where's your middle finger, Andrew?''
A: *shrugs and chuckles*
M: *censored -- ask mike for details on what he said ;-)*

very well played. Mike sure got a lot of support with this one. you know, Tim, if i were him, i'd be feeling pretty good after a play like that. oh you're tellin' me, Lance! That puts the final score at Mike - 3, Brian - 2, and now let's go to an exclusive interview with Mike to hear his thoughts on yesterday's game...

So Mike, how do you feel about the win?

M: ''well, pretty good. it always gets my blood pumping when i'm about to defeat a bully's operations b/c i know his mind is weaker than mine. i mean, he's essentially already defeated himself, he's just hiding it. all i serve to do is expose that.''

well, we have time for just one more question, what if you didn't win?

M: ''you know, i've thought about that, and it wouldn't bother me too much if the points aren't on my side. all that really matters to me is that at the end of the day, i'm not the jacka$$ that everybody hates, and that, to me, makes me the real winner.''

very nice. thank you, Mike for joining us for the interview

M: ''my pleasure :-) ''

so until next time, this has been Timmy Ticker and Lance Yardstick. Goodnight.